Why I Write

 

 

A writer often faces this question; why he writes, by an editor of a magazine or in a panel discussion by the moderator in a literary meet, or even he also sometimes asks this question to himself. The question compels the writer to introspect. Recently, an editor of the Sunday literary page of a newspaper asked me this question.

I used to write stories or poems when I was in school or college; those were published in hostel or college magazines or in regional magazines having little circulation. Then, I was pleased to see my name in print only.  Later, I started writing seriously; writing became part of my life. I continued to write, and if a few days passed without I being able to write something, I felt uncomfortable; even I often fell ill. Now when someone ask, why I write or when I ask this question to myself, I think, I have, perhaps, something to say; and I express what I want to say in writing. I want to share with others my points, I want to incite readers’ feelings, stir their minds. 

I was born in 1959, twelve years after India attained independence, and brought up in a poor surrounding. My teachers in the school were all born before independence. They were directly or indirectly influenced by the ideals of freedom struggle. They had some kind of idealism, imbibed during their childhood, school or college days, and I believe, their idealism had some impact on the students like me.

Influenced by a teacher with leftist leanings, I worked for a leftist party even when I was in the school. I participated actively in the elections held in 1974, and campaigned for a CPI candidate. I wandered in the villages, mingled with common people; the farmers or daily wagers, and persons in penury. I witnessed inequity and injustice that existed in the society. I felt one among them, developed a kind of rebelling attitude. The rebelling attitude, I believe, is still with me, and I cannot accept all that was there in society and I think, that non-conforming streak in me is reflected in my stories and novels.

                                   (Published in an Odia daily, SAKAALA)

In the socio-economic conditions I grew up, I could not think of anything except going for a government job. It may appear childish or irrational now that, then I had a dream; I could influence opinion of the people by my writings, and contribute to bringing in a social revolution. I would do my job and at the same time, I would write, not stories and novels, but serious essays and features in the journals and newspapers, and mould public opinion.

After I joined government service, I learnt, an employee could not write anything critical of government policy. One senior officer of the organization I was working in, told, even if you wrote articles not critical of the government, sometimes anti-establishment views would creep in unconsciously and land you in trouble. Your senior officer, out of jealousy, might nurture a grudge and create problems for you, even for an innocuous piece.

I was disappointed. The job I was supposed to do was not to my liking; that was not giving me self-satisfaction. I was dissatisfied, anger simmering within. One day, my wife and children had been to my village; I was alone in my room. I wrote a story and the next day, I sent to a magazine. The story received readers’ appreciation; I received a good number of letters of praise. I continued to write.

I have received appreciation from the reading public; and also, the officers and employees of the organization I worked for have condemned me. Both appreciation and condemnation amused and have inspired me to continue with my writing.

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